Fun with SG1
by tequila girl
Summary: SG1 & Alternate characters mess with a female dominated world.


"Thelma & Louise are going to be doing the tests on the new glider?" Jack O'Neill is FURIOUS.. "Why is that? Teal'c and I have done all the other tests on it."

General Hammond is unyielding on this matter. "Majors Devin and Griffin are the best pilots the Air Force has to offer. They have the security clearance to join the SGC and have expressed an interest in helping to create new aircraft for the military."

Jack is still not impressed. "I've heard about those two. They are trouble with a capitol 'T'."

Teal'c, Dr. Daniel Jackson and Major Samantha Carter are not happy with this decision either.

Hammond announces, "They are on their way to this briefing. I expect that you will treat them with all the respect and courtesy that any new member of the SGC deserves."

Jack is still not happy with this and begins to grumble, "I still don't see why we need them. Teal'c and I have been doing just fine on our own."

As Hammond opens his mouth to reply, he is interrupted by a female voice coming from the doorway.

"Look Colonel O'Neill, the Air Force wants us to go with our personal strengths. I, for one, am much better at flying than saving the world." The speaker is a striking blond woman in an Air Force uniform. She salutes to them & as they return it, smiles. "I'm Major Alexandra Devin" Gesturing to the beautiful black woman behind her, "This is Major Christina Griffin."

SG1 rises to their feet & introduces themselves. The group has a general chat as they rearrange their seats. As they settle, Hammond asks, "Majors, do you understand why you are here?"

Major Devin nods, "Yes sir. We're here to test fly the new hybrid vehicle that SG1 has created."

They are briefed on the project, with Major Devin doing all the talking. Finally Jack has had enough and turns to Major Griffin, "Do you ever talk?"

She smirks at him, "Yes, but Lex likes flapping her gums more than I do."

"Bite me Tina."

They descend into friendly squabbling. The general breaks them up and continues the briefing on a more serious note...

WEEKS LATER

Lex & Tina have been working extremely hard to get the new aircraft up and running. They have tapped all of SG-1's expertise. Teal'cs knowledge of the Gua'old, Jack's flying, Sam's engineering skills, and surprisingly Daniel's language skills.

In a matter of weeks, they'd managed to become fairly close with Sam, gain Jack's respect, make Teal'c laugh a LOT and Daniel blush on more than one occasion. They are almost ready for the test flight but are waiting for SG-1 to return from a scouting mission. Lex happens to be in the gate control room talking to General Hammond when a wormhole engages. Hammond is relieved, SG-1 is several hours overdue.

Sam's transmission is weird, she doesn't seem to want to talk to Hammond. In fact, she asks to talk to his 'master'. Hammond is confused at her statement. "Jack, Teal'c and Daniel have been taken into custody until their rightful ownership can be ascertained. The masters here are enforcing the one slave per master rule."

Lex suddenly gets it, "General. Can I talk to her?

Hammond nods, "If you can get her to make more sense than she is then please do!"

Lex speaks up, "Carter, are you saying that Tina & I need to come get Teal'c and Daniel? We loan them to you for 3 days and you got into trouble?"

Carter sounds relieved, "Hey Lex, yeah. I'm sorry about this, but they are adamant that they won't let me leave with the guys until you come get them."

"OK, let me collect up Tina and we'll be there within 2 hours." She signs off and turns to Hammond. "From what she said, that is a female dominated planet. They have a rule that there is only one male to each Master or woman. Tina & I can travel to the planet and get them back."

Hammond is doubtful, "I am not sure of this plan, Major."

"General, we know SG-1 really well. We are the only 2 females that are available, combat trained and know them well enough to get away this ruse. With all due respect, you really don't have a choice with this, sir."

"Very well, Major. You have a go"

Lex collects up Tina and they suit up quickly. The biggest delay is getting SG-1 insignia on their uniforms. The detail is important to their performance. They are working on a game plan the whole time, tossing ideas back and forth like tennis balls. When they are ready, they head for the gate room

The wormhole engages and they glance at each other and Tina asks, "What the hell are we doing?"

Lex shakes her head, "Damned if I know. You ready?" They head up the ramp & walk into the event horizon.

Once there, they are greeted by a huge Amazon standing in a clearing. "You are the ones that Carter spoke to?"

"Yes, we came to get our men" Lex answers. "Take us to Carter."

The woman turns without a word and heads toward a path in the trees. Lex & Tina look at each other, shrug and follow, keeping their eyes peeled for any trouble. When they arrive at the village, they find a female dominated world. Men are treated like slaves, mindless workers with no feelings. All the men they see are blank-eyed, and defeated.

Lex is horrified. Tina has seen pictures of her ancestors and has a better idea of what slavery looks like. She is nauseated at the treatment these men are receiving.

Upon entering one of the buildings, they find Carter, with Jack sitting at her feet. She is arguing to another woman who seems intent on taking him away. "Sheena, I TOLD you that the other masters will be here!" She shouts. "You cannot take them!"

Tina spots Daniel & Teal'c tied to posts on the other side of the room. As she starts toward them, Lex stops her with a gesture. To the woman, "Sheena, is it? Why are our men restrained like that?"

Sheena sputters in anger. "They are extras." Gesturing toward Carter, "She had three, that is against the law"

Lex cocks an eyebrow, "Do you not lend out your men when they are needed?"

"No."

"Well, where we come from, the rules are different." Suddenly, her voice cracks out, "If touch Daniel again, I WILL hurt you." Unnoticed by the others, an extremely ugly woman is stroking Daniel's chest.

She scowls, "I will do as I please. This one does not belong to you."

"Are you sure of that?" Lex all but purrs at her. "Daniel, who is your mistress?"

He catches on quickly, thank the goddess. "You are."

"And what is my name?"

"Lex. Ma'am." He ducks his head as though ashamed of speaking her name aloud.

She nudges Tina, who walks to Teal'c. "Teal'c? Who is YOUR mistress?"

Having watched the byplay with Lex and Daniel, he gets it. "You are."

And MY name?"

"Tina. Ma'am" He also ducks his head.

Lex walks up to Daniel, touches his face & then walks behind him to cut the ropes that bind him. She nods to Tina, who does the same.

Sheena begins to argue but stops when Lex holds up her hand in a 'stop' motion. "Will you just shut up? They are not yours to keep & you know it."

She turns to Daniel, "Remember your training. Two steps behind and to my left." She turns and looks at Jack and Teal'c carefully. "Hopefully Carter and Tina trained you properly & you will perform your duties as expected."

They nod and fall in behind their 'masters'. The procession is followed by several angry woman. They start to attack when they are stopped by Lex. "Let us go. You will not like it if we stay and start to show you exactly how 'different' our world is from yours. We have some pretty radical ideas about the way men and woman interact. We WILL screw up your lives for good."

The woman mutter & step back. They watch carefully as SG-1 makes it to the stargate and start to dial home. As the wormhole engages, the pairs start to walk up the steps. Lex who is last in line, is unable to resist, turns to Daniel and holds out her hand. He takes it & they walk through the event horizon shoulder to shoulder. They hear a collective gasp from the crowd as they disappear.

Daniel smiles down at her as they step through the other side & down the ramp, still holding hands. "You know that you just screwed up their whole society, don't you?"

She smiles back at him, "Yes, but you didn't have to help. Now did you?"

Jack raises an eyebrow at their clasped hands, "Did I miss anything?"

Lex grins at him, "Yeah, but we'll tell you in the debrief."


End file.
